insomni-egg

i can't sleep.

the stench of nulaid reddi egg is hanging so thick in our small 3-br 2nd floor flat atmosphere, i'm absorbing the calories in a burnt spinach omelet via simple inhalation of this cholesterol free, fat free freak of a product that'd make any hen harakiri upon witnessing what these sickos are doing to her eggs.

my philosophy? if you don't want fat, don't want cholesterol, don't want sugar, don't want salt coursing through your veins, don't eat.

i detest the American mentality of you can have your sugar-free cake, and eat it too!
it negates the whole purpose of living healthily, wealthily, and wisely.
one is simply using modern science and technology to cheat the body and brain to fulfill the satiation of their forked tongue.

excuse my tangential rant. back to reddi egg stench.


a summer subletter of ours makes these revolting "omelets" for every meal. he's on some insane biggest loser program but he's as skinny as can be at the moment, having already lost over a hundred pounds within five months. the irony of it all is, he's not right in the head yet he's studying neurobiology. go figure.

i don't understand a person that can make as many fauxmelets as he does and still not understand that putting the oven temperature on high without oil in the pan and pouring this fat free cholesterol free sludge will immediately adhere to the pan and burn.

let me tell you, there's nothing more unappetizing than the revolting scent of burnt eggs. in this case...burnt liquid chicken shat. it really convicts me to stand up and punch the face of the offender.

yet into the already burnt liquid, he continues to toss fistfuls of spinach, mushrooms, alfalfa sprouts. no salt. no nothing. then proceeds to scrape it around and dumps fat free yogurt on top of this disgusting slop as a finale.

my stomach is curling.

at least turn on the fan, mofo. but no, he does no such thing. ever. and how important is it to make this at midnight? people like him should have a restraining order from kitchens.

i need to wash my hair again. and stuff towels underneath my door. and buy a gas mask.